Vampires.
You remember them right? Big teeth, hate the sun and garlic, enjoy a nice red now and again? For almost a century now, the fanged menace of the night has stalked, invited, and slurped its way through our screens in a magnitude of forms and faces. However, what keeps them interesting and scary is those specific circumstances in which we get to interact with the blood-suckers. The Shed does this by putting that creature of the night in your own backyard.
Directed by Frank Sabatella, The Shed is a story about adolescence, growing up, and how not to feed your friends to a vampire in your shed. The film opens with Bane (a terrified and wonderfully watchable Frank Whaley) running for his life and being turned by a vampire. He runs into the titular shed behind the house of 17-year-old Stan (Jay Jay Warren), who has been orphaned and is living with his strict Grandpa (a rambunctious Timothy Bottoms) and navigating high school with his best friend Dommer (Cody Kostro) all the while avoiding bullies and trying to redeem a lost relationship with a former flame. Stan soon loses his dog and Grandpappy to Bane’s thirst and has to deal with the immense burden of having a vampire in his shed. He decides he’s going to introduce Dommer to his new pet. Dommer, who’s been pursued relentlessly by Chris Petrovski’s Marble the Bully™, decides he just might have a plan to get some revenge with or without Stan’s help.
The film is an 80s fright fest complete with one-liners straight outta a comic book (my personal fave being “EAT SHIT AND LIVE ASSHOLE”), a marvelous amount of specifically utilized blood and prosthetics, and the metaphorical embodiment of a horror similar to a Stephen King tale. The vampiric lore on display here is perfect. Sunlight burns skin to a crisp or ash, yellow hungry eyes take over, and having to kill these vampires in a unique specific way takes precedent. The ode to classic and modern vamps alike makes this movie feel wonderful to watch. It’s a mashup of Goosebumps and Salem’s Lot with enough style to keep you enjoying the entire ride.
It can be a bumpy ride at times, though. Although the story is quite good, the character dialogue is a bit rough around the edges. A few performances seem over the top or not quite enough for the tone the rest of the cast is working towards, but nothing too distracting from the overall picture. I do think taking a more literal approach to Stan’s storyline of growing up would have made for a more enjoyable and powerful film. Setting this in middle school and having younger kids fight their draculas and learn to fight for themselves was all I kept wanting to see. More Goosebumps, less emo high schooler.
Technically, The Shed is pulled off well, with Matthias Schubert’s cinematography being a standout. Some rougher editing and music moments take away from tension, but the scares they produce are astounding. The makeup and effects crews do a remarkable job making sure each set of fangs feels like they’re inches from your neck. With gore not oversaturating scenes, it makes the moments when a limb is torn or blood starts flowing more visceral and powerful.
Even without nailing every aspect, The Shed doesn’t forget for a second how fun it is to fight vampires. The cast and crew are all in on making sure you want to enjoy this fright night from start to finish. It comes through in the stylized fights, the quick camera flying around, and a beautifully classic score. Stan and Dommer face their fears of high school ending and each has to decide which way they will go in the end. It’s not perfect, but The Shed won’t disappoint any fan of vampires, horror flicks, or really old sheds.
The Shed is available to stream exclusively on Shudder starting August 27th.
