AM I OK? is a comedic, poignant coming-of-age — in your early 30s — tale, because who said coming-of age only occurs once in our lifetimes? Especially in the case of Lucy (Dakota Johnson), who has recently come to terms with the fact that she may have not been living her life as honestly as she thought she was. For their directorial debut, married duo Tig Notaro and Stephanie Allynne include a tender portrayal of a late-awakening into one’s sexuality and an honest examination into an endearing friendship between two women that spans across almost three decades. The saccharine relationship between the two best friends is tested when they are faced with the reality of starting a new chapter in life without one another by their side.
The film opens up with a montage of photos from a disposable camera as if we are flipping through an old scrapbook or rummaging around in a memory box of someone’s early to late 20s. Lucy and Jane (Sonoya Mizuno) are inseparable best friends. They know each other inside and out to the point of Jane ordering Lucy her favorite meal for her: a veggie burger with sweet potato fries and iced black coffee. The compassionate script by Lauren Pomerantz glides us into the sentimental world of Lucy and Jane that is filled with light-hearted dialogue and banter. At times it feels as if we are intruding on a typical day of the two friends due to the vulnerability and easy-going chemistry that they ooze out with each tearful confession after the other.
Lucy is a 32-year-old painter, who is as awkward, clumsy, and emotionally sensitive as one can be. She is unsure of absolutely every decision she makes in her life to the point where we begin to question how she’s even gotten this far. At one point in exhaustion, Lucy states “Have I ever been happy? I don’t even know what makes me happy. I am nervous all the time and I am scared of everything.” Jane, who is probably used to this self-deprecating talk from her, brushes off Lucy’s statement as her being dramatic. Where Lucy lacks in sense of self Jane excels. Jane is a self-assured, girl-boss who knows what she wants when she wants it but at times this self-confidence inevitably rubs off in the wrong way to her loved ones. Lucy and Jane are opposites, but they are indeed the missing puzzle pieces that they both need in each other’s lives to ground one another. When news of Jane’s promotion hits, Lucy’s world crumbles all around her as she is left with a startling revelation of her own identity and the potential loss of her lifelong friend.
Things hurl into action once Jane confesses to kissing a girl for fun in high school. Lucy is exasperated partly due to the drunken state she’s in but mostly from any lingering, unrequited feelings she may feel towards Jane. Later on in bed, Lucy comes out to Jane in the most intimate scene to grace the film. The coming out scene is raw and brilliant as can be, the cameras close in to focus solely on their faces as the audience is left consuming their every word. Their voices are as soft as ever as if they are scared that raising their voices any further would disturb the imaginary sanctuary they have created. Lucy is shaken and brought to tears by the thought of ever pursuing girls. But Jane consoles her and promises to not leave Lucy’s side until she kisses a girl. Jane strives to make the best of their remaining time together. However, Lucy is still very slowly coming to terms with her identity which further frustrates Jane.
Once the heartbreaking fight occurs the audience isn’t left with picking sides but just rooting for the two main characters to overcome their obstacle and move on together. Their shortcomings have both impacted their lives with hurtful consequences, therefore, Lucy and Jane are forced to spend some time apart while they reconsider what’s most important to them in their lives. The film diverges too much energy on the side characters that occasionally appear to irk the relationship between Jane and Lucy. Molly Gordon’s Kat is an unbearable “stand-in” best friend for Jane and Brittany’s (Kiersey Clemons) intentions on whether she was leading Lucy on or afraid of her own sexuality are never fully-fledged out. An unnecessary but cute dating sequence with Lucy fills in much of the time they spend apart but after they come back together it doesn’t seem like much has changed between them too emotionally. While the audience is also left unaware with how Jane overcame her insecurities.
The ending is a bit rocky but fitting and wholesome for the film: after all, this is a love story between two companions. AM I OK? is a gentle portrait of one of the hardest parts of growing up, which is letting go of the ones we love and continuing life without them. Subsequently, Notaro and Allynne delicately construct a story that touches on the perils of coming to terms with your own sexuality in the midst of finding yourself.
