Titular character Benjamin (Colin Morgan) is feeling nervous as his second feature film premiers at the London Film Festival. He is filled with anxiety and self-doubt, but his producer Tessa (Anna Chancellor) is ready to move on with the premiere, while his publicist and friend Billie (Jessica Raine) isn’t helping much to calm the situation. Panicked at the thought of being a one-hit-wonder, Benjamin encloses himself in his cozy apartment, eating ice cream and watching self-help videos on YouTube.
One night Benjamin meets Noah (Phénix Brossard), a visiting French student with whom he soon starts a relationship. A sweet smile appears on your face during the initial days of the relationship. Benjamin lets himself be free, swept by Noah’s mysterious appeal and shrooms that help course the way.
Director Simon Amstell paints a self-portrait searching for the truth about his past relationships through Benjamin, pouring his heart out in this bittersweet and charming story. The awkwardness between Noah and Benjamin at the start, the sweetness it provides, the scene of them playing the piano together and the sequence in the bathtub shows intimacy like wrapping yourself inside a blanket.
Amstell also displays the jitters a filmmaker gets when his debut feature is well-received and the burden of the next just keeps piling on until it is time to rip off the band-aid. The humor in between is quite cynical, mostly provided through Billie whose “indiscrete” one night stand with Benjamin’s best friend and writing partner Stephen (Joel Fry) leads to a weird confrontation after the premiere while her boyfriend Harry (Jack Rowan), who starred in Benjamin’s latest film, explores his sexuality.
But the ghost of self-doubt still fills Benjamin and after the screening of his film, his mind dives right back into his old ways. This is where Amstell takes an honest route toward realization after a run-in with his ex (Nathan Stewart-Jarrett) who provides Benjamin with the bitter truth of their relationship and his talent as a filmmaker. We see Benjamin dive deep into his fear of future failures, which leads him to sabotage his relationship with Noah. There is a montage sequence where Benjamin smokes all the weed from his stash, which awakens his fear of loneliness and leads to a breakdown where he questions what has happened to him. He realizes how happiness is not about being self-indulgent or taking pity on yourself, it is more about caring for someone other than yourself.
The movie is led by an honest and awkwardly-led performance from Morgan who embodies Benjamin in himself and Brossard as Noah who gives a mysterious sweetness to his performance that makes you fall in love with him. Supported by Raine as Billie with her self-indulgent humor, Fry as Stephen who tries to express his childhood trauma with a failed stand-up comedy set that leads to his mental breakdown, and Rowan as Harry who is shown heading toward much better things.
Benjamin is a charming, sometimes awkward, tender, and heartfelt story of love. Amstell explores his personal journey through Benjamin, filled with crisp dialogue, humor, self-doubt, working through his inability to love and figuring out the path toward happiness.
