Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is commonly perceived as the disorder that makes you a clean and organized person, so much so that it is sometimes portrayed as desirable. People who struggle with the disorder know that it provides a hellish existence, not just because of the nature of its symptoms — which are defined by debilitating obsessions and compulsions — but also because of the lack of awareness for the disorder, making our interactions with others who don’t have it difficult because they seemingly will never understand. There is no way to tell exactly where this lack of awareness stems from, but it would be a good guess to assume that inaccurate media portrayal plays a big role in it.
Inaccurate portrayals have poisoned the minds of people to the point that actual sufferers of OCD often do not realize they have the disorder until it has reached a debilitating level. They see the media portrayals of OCD and think “I can’t have that—I’m nothing like that person.” Media portrayals of OCD typically range from the quirky character who annoys others because they clean frequently, to the typical trauma porn character who is meant to be really deep and troubled, yet displays no real symptoms of OCD, such as Howard Hughes from The Aviator. One of the most popular depictions being Adrian Monk (Tony Shalhoub) from the USA Network series Monk (2002), a dramedy about a detective with debilitating OCD. Though at moments the show emphasizes how hard it can be to live with the disorder, it almost hyperbolizes it too much to the point where it created an even further stigma of sufferers of the disorder, especially ones with contamination and cleaning obsessions.
As someone with severe OCD, I’ve searched for media that accurately portrays my experience, but my efforts have always fallen flat. But recently I came across a Spanish film titled Toc Toc (which is Ocd Ocd in English). The Netflix description was anything short of promising (describing compulsions as “oddball quirks”), but I decided to give it a shot, since it was the first film I’d ever encountered that was actually centered around OCD.
The film opens by introducing its characters, each of which represent a different experience of OCD. We first meet Blanca (Alexandra Jiménez), a scientist with Contamination OCD. She performs hand washing compulsions excessively, avoids touching things, and due to the nature of her work, is overly aware of potential infectious diseases. Her obsession with cleanliness causes her to isolate from other people, and we are shown a glimpse of her social life (or lack thereof) within the first few minutes of the film in a scene where she avoids physical contact with her socialite coworkers. We then get a glimpse into the life of Emilio (Paco León), a taxi driver with Arithmomania, a type of OCD defined by counting compulsions. Emilio tells every customer the total of times he saw a bus with the number nine on it that day, and claims it must be a sign. This, along with other instances of oversharing about the totals of the things he counts that day, drives every passenger crazy to the point that some of them leave the car without arriving at their destination.
Soon after we are introduced to Ana María (Rossy de Palma), a woman suffering from Scrupulosity (OCD defined by religious and/or moral obsessions and compulsions) and Checking OCD. She is shown rubbing a crucifix and crossing herself multiple times before leaving her apartment, but then repeatedly coming back after obsessing over whether or not she left something on or unattended (such as leaving the stove on). We then meet Otto (Adrían Lastra), a hopeless romantic with superstitious OCD and what is often referred to as “Just Right” OCD. Otto cannot walk on cracks or lines and avoids them at all costs, employing physical comedy to show the lengths he’ll go to perform his compulsion. As for his “just so” OCD, he requires symmetry and organization, making him sort things that feel out of order to him. These compulsions make finding love hard for him, despite being a charming and conventionally attractive guy. We are then given a glimpse of Lili (Nuria Herrero), an exercise instructor, who repeats everything that she calls out in the class she teaches. Lastly, we are acquainted with Federico (Oscar Martínez), an older man with Tourette’s syndrome and an impressive knowledge of compulsive disorders.
All of the characters converge at psychiatrist Dr. Palomero’s office and soon find out they all have appointments at the same time, which causes confusion and tension. The receptionist is a cold woman who reveals little information to the patients when they ask when the doctor will be coming. They eventually find out his flight was heavily delayed, and that he will be there as soon as he can. Though they are told this may take hours, due to the prestige of his work and his typical wait times just to come in for an appointment, the prospective patients decide to wait for him to arrive.
The patients take the initiative to get to know each other, except for Ana María who feels ashamed to have OCD. Shortly thereafter they all began to understand more about their own disorders. While a good amount of the depictions are accurate, some moments of the film do exaggerate symptoms for the sake of playing up comedy, and some small depictions fall into territory of being blatantly inaccurate. For example, Federico is the first to “diagnose” Emilio with Arithmomania, but many of Emilio’s symptoms are off base. He counts things compulsively and repetitively which is the most common compulsion of counting OCD, but his tendency to overshare his daily findings is not a part of the disorder. However, the most inaccurate instance is when his character is depicted to be extremely good at math and able to do extremely complex problems in his head. Arithmomania does not make someone exceptionally good at math (though I’m sure they wish it did). These kinds of stereotypes are especially harmful to people with counting OCD because not only does it spread false information, but it also makes Arithmomania appear desirable rather than showing it as a debilitating and time-consuming subset of the disorder.
The depiction of Blanca’s Contamination OCD borders on an inaccurate depiction and a campy interpretation of her disorder. Despite this, Blanca is still probably the most complex and exceptionally written character in the film. Washing her hands after touching anything, she often pops in and out of scenes in an attempt to make her hands completely clean. Contamination OCD often causes sufferers to wash their hands excessively, but the film’s depiction of handwashing after every single interaction with a public space is not entirely realistic. The character of Blanca is so campy that in a scene where Ana Maria touches her hair, Blanca runs to the bathroom and pulls out an entire caddy of hair products — blow dryer and all.
Lili’s character is also played up as quite campy, and her compulsions to repeat things over and over cause the group to pick up her habit at times, in which they often catch themselves repeating things, too. But her character did not display completely inaccurate symptoms. She reveals to the group that her compulsion began when her father passed away and that she feared death, which is a common drive for compulsions. The inclusion of a traumatic backstory gives insight on how obsessions and rituals sometimes come to fruition, because although many do not have a rational root to them, some do evolve over time after a past trauma occurs.
After much coercion from the group Ana María reveals that she has “evil thoughts” that have convinced her that she is a bad person, which is what compels her to perform compulsions surrounding her faith such as crossing herself repetitively and rubbing a crucifix before leaving her house. Otto and Blanca console her by telling her that they too have had these thoughts, but that these thoughts do not make people evil. As someone who deals with intrusive thoughts themself, I found the inclusion of this conversation very important. Many people think that intrusive thoughts only occur to people with OCD and other mental disorders, when in reality everyone has intrusive thoughts. However, people with OCD are predisposed to let these thoughts bother them more, often leading to compulsions and rituals that are designed to bring down the extreme anxiety brought on by these thoughts.
From this point on, the film depicts the characters’ symptoms during scenes in which they attempt to do their own sort of exposure therapy, each catered to the individual’s symptoms. Exposures are situations in which people with OCD are faced with situations that trigger their anxiety and need to perform compulsions or rituals; however, they must fight the urge to do so and “sit with” the anxious feeling. For example, Blanca is forced to touch a toilet without washing her hands afterwards (which she fails to complete), and Otto is forced to walk on the lines in the carpet. Otto comedically avoids the lines at first, but eventually accomplishes stepping on them when coerced by Lili telling him she’ll kiss him if he completes the exposure. Although the members of the group do not complete their exposures with a 100% success rate, they realize that they are bigger than their disorders and are ready to head down the path to recovery. The fact that the film does not end with them all being cured is extremely refreshing. As someone who has gone through a two-and-a-half-month intensive outpatient treatment that mostly employed the use of exposure therapy, I know from personal experience that it takes a very long time and lots of repeated exposures to eventually “habituate,” or become comfortable with the anxiety that OCD causes.
Overall, this film is a fantastic piece of media with eccentric characters representing the different subsets of OCD. It provides hope as they find consolation in each other’s shared experience, and all eventually learn to manage their symptoms. Although I wouldn’t recommend it to be used as an educational tool, I would absolutely recommend it to anyone with OCD and anyone with an extensive knowledge of the disorder.
To find out more about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, visit https://www.ocdtypes.com.
